Still my brother
by Lami Knight
Summary: Sam gets his powers early. To keep his family safe he goes to hunt the demon by himself instead of going to Stanford,but what happens when Dean runs into the famous boy hunter to only to find his little brother.why is Sam hunting instead of going to college. if he wanted to hunt why leave?will he stand by his brother even if he has to disobey his father.
1. Chapter 1

**Still My Brother**

 **Chapter 1:**

It was dark all around. And cold. I was running. But from what I could not tell. I could see my breath fog in front of my face. Where was I ? Where was Dean. I had to get to him. He'll know what's happening. I shout "Dean" but no sound comes. I cant hear anything, not even myself. Were we on a hunt , is that what's happening ? suddenly someone's there. I still cant see or see but I feel a presence with me. Not a good one. It feels cold and dark. All consuming. Like it's soaking up all the good. I'm scared. Dean would call me a wuss, but I don't care , just let me find him, please. Then I see. Someone is lying up ahead. No, not just someone. I will always know that figure. Feel it at my very core. Its Dean. I run towards him. He's not moving. Please let him be okay. Why isn't he moving ? is he … no! It cant be. Not Dean. Dad comes walking from the darkness. I cant read the expression on his face. It doesn't matter. He'll fix Dean. But he's not doing anything. I want to yell at him, but again no sound escape me. He looks at me then. The darkness around us seem all the more searing. "dad, do something" I want to beg. He raises his hand. That's when I notice the gun. He'll kill the thing that hurt dean. But he points his gun at me. I don't understand. He speaks then. I wish he hadn't. I wish I never heard him speak. "you. You killed him. You killed my son." No no no no. what's he saying. I would never hurt m brother. I finally find my voice "no dad. Its me. Sammy. Your son" why isn't he listening. "what are you doing?" "something I should have done a long time ago. First you take my Mary from me, now Dean too." I cant breath any more. Mom. I didn't kill her. Do you really believe that? My subconscious asks me. I always knew I was the reason mom died. The demon was in my nursery. Mom was there because of me. I am the reason Dean doesn't have a mother. No dad. I want to plead. But I don't. cause I know it will do no good. With clarity I can read the look on his face now. It's the same look he wears when facing a monster. Now its directed at me. I'm the monster now. The realization hits me like a punch in the gut. Dad speaks again. There is such hatred in his voice, the words only cripples me more. ''your not my son. I should have gutted you as soon as you were born. Mary is gone because of you. You're the one the demon wanted and my Mary suffered for it. My son, my last gift of Mary has suffered for it". With each word I shattered more and more. So, is it true ? have I killed my brother? I cant understand how I can ever harm I one person who matters most to me. "Say goodbye Sammy." with that I see him pull the trigger, and I'm falling. As I fall I can distantly hear a cold laugh filled with malice. Last I see a pair of eyes. Glowing yellow in their glee.

Sam gasps awake, sweat running down his brow, back coiled with tension. The blankets tangled around his legs. The door to their current home, the Blackrock motel, opens and his brother steps in.  
"Rise and shine sleeping beauty" yells the young man in his usually loud and cheerful voice. Sam in the mean while is still trying to get his breathing back to normal. He looks up at his brother with trepidation. Still trying to come to term with his nightmare. As soon as Dean notices his little brothers distress the cheerful demur drops. With a note of worry he sits by the teenager's bed and asks what's wrong. "nothing. I'm ok. Just a dream. Not real. Just a dream." "Another one. You've been having a lot of those lately."  
"not another one. Same one." Sam says in a dejected tone. "and of course your not going to tell your awesome big brother about it." "its nothing Dean. Just stupid dreams." At least he hoped they were. Not wanting to continue with this discussion he quickly got of the bed. In his hurry he didn't notice the older man's worry. "gonna be late for school." "I'll drive you, oh! And dad called. Saied he might be a few more weeks. Hunts running longer." Sam was grateful for the close bathroom door for his brother didn't notice the flash of fear at the mention of their father. He had been having this same dream for weeks now. He didn't want to believe. But they felt too real, they left him too raw. But until he knew more he needed to keep his brother in the dark. He won't be able to tolerate if there was the same look of disgust in his brothers face that was in his father's in his dream. He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. Time to start another day.

 _this is my first written fic. please forgive any mistake. let me know what you think. if anyone has any advice or pointer to better my writing it will be welcome._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Today is the day. Today he will possible lose all his family. Sam graduated from school last week. His dad couldn't make it, but he's not surprised. Dean was there cheering and hollering from his seat when I graduated top of my class. Later he took me to pizza place. Money is always tight, so it was a treat. You'd think he should be happy, but instead he's been feeling with dread every moment it passed. He has been since a hunt two years ago. First he was having nightmare for weeks of his father killing him. Few weeks after the dreams started they went on a hunt. It was a demon possessing a middle aged man. That hunt decided his fate for life.

They're in an abandoned warehouse. The demon's holed up in there. Dad went through the front. Me and Dean are waiting for the signal. I feel so tired. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks. Dean is worried. He tries not to show it but I can see it anyway. Worrying about me, his pain in the ass little brother, that's all he ever does. It's making me more tensed. Why does he always have to be the one responsible? I want to look after him too, something my brother will never understand. him. A sharp whistle brings me back from my inner turmoil. That's the signal. I look at my brother. He nods his head at the back door. We're both armed with shotguns and holy water. I follow him in. As we're making our way through the place there's a loud bang. We run towards the noise. Dad's lying in a heap by the wall. There is a man standing in the middle of the room. I shout christo and the man flinches. He's eyes have turned black. He came at me then. With a flick of his hand I'm thrown across the room. My ears are ringing. Distantly I hear Dean shouting my name and a shotgun going off. By the time the haze has worn off I see the demon has got the upper hand. He's got Dean by the throat. I get up and soak the son of a bitch in holy water. Smoke starts to rise from him. He's angry now. Dean can tell too that he's gonna come at me full force. So, he starts chanting the exorcism but the demon is standing too close. With a swipe of his hand Dean gets thrown through a table and lands loudly. 'Dean, Dean' I get no reply. Seeing him lying there seems too much like my dream. I want to go to him. But as the only person standing the demon's attention is on me now.

'Sammy boy. Just the one I'm looking for.' Says the demon. Now I'm worried. 'what do you want?' 'Calm down boy. I just want a chat. After all I came here for you' okay now I'm really worried. What can a demon want from me other than to kill me of course. ' why don't you skip the bullshit and kill me now' I say with as much courage I have. 'kill you. Now why would I do that? My father wanted me to see how you're doing. After all you are his favorite.' What is he talking about. I am starting to get a bad feeling about this. 'what are you spouting you bastard?' 'oh! Hasn't daddy dearest told you ? you're one of us Sammy boy. Evil runs through you. Soon you'll join us. All that power just waiting to be unleashed.' I cant believe this. I'm not evil , I wont be. 'Dean will finish you and your fucking father. You will never have me' Dean wont let me be evil. He'll fix this. ' oh don't you worry about a thing. we'll take care of your pest of a father and brother. I am looking forward to hearing then scream , just like your sweet mommy' I cant hear any more. I start reciting the exorcism. This time he doesn't stop me. Just continues to taunt me with how he'll enjoy killing my family and me joining in. No sooner had I finished, smoke came out of the man and disappeared in the ground with a horrible screech.

Sam can never stop thinking about that hunt. At first he tried not to believe what it said. Demons lie all the time. Instead he tried to bask in the glory of Dean and dad's approval for finishing the hunt on his own while they were down. he never told any of them about what the demon said. But it was always on the back of his mind. The dreams continued on . some nights more some nights less. The effect was never less hurtful but he got better at hiding them from Dean. No need to worry him. Then dad got a lead at the thing that killed mom. That news brought all his denial crashing down. It was a demon. A yellow eyed demon , father of other demons. Yellow eyes, just like in my dreams. Just like the demon said. That means it was all true. Mom died because of me. The demon was there for me that night. In that moment I knew I had to protect my brother. He wont be hurt cause of me. This hunt for the demon will kill them them both. I have to stop them. Dad will never give up his quest for revenge and Dean will never give up dad. So, I had to kill the demon before them. Since then I have started to through myself at hunts. Dads happy about my sudden interest at hunting though he'll never admit it. I need to be at my best if I want a chance of standing against the demon. He will surely come for me, and then I will be ready. But having Dean with me wont help. He'll just end up getting killed trying to save me. So, I've made the perfect plan to keep my family at a safe distance away from me. All I needed to do was wait till the time was right. And now that I have graduated, the time to put my plan in motion has come. I will save my brother and I will die before I become a monster that Dean will need to hunt. This I promise you Dean. And I'll kill the demon for you mom. Please forgive me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Dad's home. He just returned from a hunt. Dean's in the kitchen making dinner. Hearing dad come in he comes out with a beer and hands it to dad.

'Tough hunt? You look wiped.' Dad takes a long sip of beer before sitting down, 'you've got no idea. Son of a bitch didn't wanna go down. Got him in the end though.'

'course you did' Dean says confidently. His absolute faith in the man sometimes makes me mad with rage. Why does he always have to be the perfect son? more like the perfect solider. Though that could be my bitterness talking. If I didn't know for sure whose side Dean would take maybe I could have told him about my burden, about the demon. But then I would have to tell him I am the reason that mom's dead. I can take my father hating me but the thought of Dean, the only person who truly matters to me, looking at me with hate or disgust is too much to tolerate. What I'm about to do though wouldn't be possible without my brother's blind faith in our father. So maybe I should be thankful.

'oh dad, guess what? Sammy here graduated this week. Top of his class too, the little nerd.' Dean says with pride shining in his voice even as he calls me a nerd and I'm reminded anew why I love him so much.

'hmm' Dad doesn't look that interested in the news. His mind already on the next hunt as he peers into his journal. I didn't expect anything else so it doesn't bother me. Besides I'm more nervous about the bomb I'm about to explode. Though Dean seems determined to get a response, 'He even gave a nerdy speech dad. The moms there looked about ready to adopt him and hang him on their trophy mantel.' For once I wish my brother would stop. I wanted to enjoy a last meal with my family. But if Dean keeps on the subject much longer I'm gonna have to put my plan in motion sooner than I wanted.

'That's great Dean. Now we can hunt full time without having to worry about school. Sam can take on bigger role in the hunts from now on'

For just a moment I feel the familiar twinge of resentment for my father. I graduate from school and all he can see is a better opportunity for easier hunts. No I'm proud of you son. Not even a pat on the back. I dismiss the feeling as soon as it comes. No use of it now when this could possibly the last time I see my family. Showtime Winchester.

Finally I speak up and let the bomb drop, 'Actually dad I won't be going on any more hunts.' That got his attention. Even Dean's looking at me confused, trying to figure out what I mean. But I can't think of him now. I am doing this for you Dean. 'I got into Stanford. I'm going to college in the fall.' I get up, bring out my acceptance letter and hand it to him. Everyone is quite. You can actually hear a pin drop. I hold my breath for the storm to begin.

'What is the meaning of this ?' dad exclaims. Rage clear in his voice. 'I thought I made it clear. I'm going to college. I don't want to hunt anymore dad, I never did.' At least the last parts true. Dad turns on Dean next. 'did you know about this ?' he yells weaving my acceptance letter in Dean's face. He takes it out of dads hand and looks like he can't grasp what it is. I try to ignore how his hands shake. I can't make myself look at his face. I know I'm hurting my brother but it's for his own good.

'Answer me. Did you know about this ?' I cant let dad take his anger out on Dean.

'He didn't know dad. No one did' and how true that is. Dad again turns to me. His face has gotten red. 'So what, you plan to abandon your family. For what ? to go to some fancy school, which I'm not paying for by the way.'

'you don't have to dad. I got a full ride. And I'm not abandoning anyone. I just cant be a hunter for the rest of my life. You know other parents would be proud.' My words only seem to make him more mad. 'So that's it, you just give up and run away. And what about your mother? You let her killer go free.'

God it hurts to say this but I have to make sure they let me go 'what mother? The one I never saw. I don't even know anything about her cause you won't tell me, and I'm suppose to waste my life to catch this killer. No dad. This is your obsession, stop putting it on us. '

That seems to be dad's breaking point. He screams so loud I can see the vein in his throat pulse. "you selfish brat. Mary died to protect you and this is how you repay her. She would still be alive if not for you."

I reel back from his words. I knew it was my fault but to hear it coming from his mouth pulls me up short. It seems the words break Dean out from his trance. 'dad, Dean calls. Does he also think it's my fault.

"No Dean. Your brother should know that his mother died in his nursery, on his crib." This is news to me. One more proof of what the demon said is true. It only makes me more determined. " So, now you want to guilt me into staying ? you think mom would have wanted this life for us? She would have wanted her sons to live of credit card scams and cheap motels."

'Don't you talk about your mother like that you ungrateful basterd. You want to go then go. But remember if you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.'

It seems like dads done. Even when this is better It hurts no less. I didn't think he'll cut me off the family so completely. I wait for Dean to say something but he just stands there with a cold look. Huh. Guess his choice is clear. As if there was ever a different choice. Dad gives an order, Dean follows it. Why should this time be any different. Dad only knows about mom dying and he blames me if he knew the demon wanted me to be part of it's army surly he'll kill me and if dad's decided I won't have a hope of Dean taking my side. Not knowing what I know. Time to go.

I had already packed my bag with some clothes and a few of the weapons to get me started. I take it. And with a last look at my brother I let the door close behind me. It's a cold night. My thin jacket does little to keep the cold out but I cant feel anything. I feel totally numb. Like I'm underwater. I stand on the side of the motel for a while to see if Dean will come out to say goodbye. after some time it becomes clear that he won't be coming. So, I start my trek to the nearest bus station. Sitting on the bus it seems to come crashing down. I've done it. But at what cost. As I break down crying the man beside me politely ignores me. Without any family, without my big brother my only purpose in life is to kill the yellow eyed demon before he hurts Dean too. With new hope I calm myself down. Hopefully one day Dean would be able to forgive me. That's the best I can hope for.

 _The next chapter will be in Dean's point of view. Let me know how your liking it so far. Hope my writings improved some. Sorry for any mistake._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Dean's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a year. A year since Sammy left us, left me. Without Sammy it feels like our whole family fell apart. He was the glue that held us. He forced us to not get lost in the darkness of the world. He was our light. Our happiness, the last gift from mom. Protect Sam, keep him safe. That was my life's goal since I carried him out of our burning home. I don't know who I am without him.

After Sam left there was no need to settle down or take break from hunts for school. So, dad and I started to go on non stop hunts. Both of us trying to make up for the absence of our youngest by throwing ourselves in the hunt and booz. Dad started to send me on separate hunts to cover more ground. I hunt by myself most of the time now-a-days. We meet up from time to time for bigger game, but mostly keep to ourselves.

I met up with dad few days ago for hunt. It was a wendigo. Sucker was fast. Banged us up good, but in true Winchester fashion a little bump and bruising is not going to slow us down. We just finished the hunt and came back at the cheap motel we're staying in.

"Dean, I'm going out. There was a bar close by, See if I can pick up some cash." Then he was out the door as soon as he walked in.

We don't talk much these aside from talking about the hunt, specially about my estranged little brother. Dad never brings up Sam even by mistake. But I can see him missing him in the way he avoids my eyes. I know he regrets his last words. But I don't make any move to reassure him. Truthfully I am more then a little mad with him for his words. He had no right. But more than not I am angry at myself for the part I played in driving my little brother away. I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

I really didn't understand what was happening until it was over. My little brother just graduated from high school. School never mattered to me but it was important to Sam . so, I cheered him on. Dad wasn't there. I know that hurt Sam no matter how much he pretended otherwise. I tried to remind him but he was on an important hunt. It's not like I didn't understand that every hunt is important but really would it kill the guy to show his face for an hour or two for one day. By the time he came back a week had want by. Sam was really on edge the whole time for some reason. I tried talking to him but with all the progress I was making I had better luck pulling his teeth out. For someone who lives for chick flick moments when it comes to his own problems Sam can calm up tighter than a virgin's legs.

When dad walked in I was determined to get him to acknowledge this milestone in Sam's life. As I was talking Sam sat quietly like it didn't matter to him. I hated to see my little brother so resigned about something that mattered to him so much. That only made me more determined. Finally when dad heard me Sam let his big secret drop. He was leaving us. My little brother was going away to college. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything as dad let his rage show. How am I going to keep him safe if I'm not there. This could not be happening. Sam wouldn't leave.

I was brought out of my thoughts as dad turned his rage at me. He was saying something as he weaved some paper in front of my face. I took them out of his hand. Only when I tried to read them did I realized that my hands were shaking. I took a deep breath to calm myself. It was Sam's acceptance letter. That drove home the reality of the situation. There was nothing I can do.

By the time I could cope with this dad had gotten in the last words. "if you walk out that door, don't you ever come back" I say what this words did to my little brother. The devastation, the pain and at last the resignation all of these emotions were plain on his face. I saw how he turned to me to contradict dad. His eyes calling to me to stand up for him. To reassure him that he wont lose all his family. But at that time I was so busy with my own pain there was no comfort left in me to offer.

Now I look back at that moment and every time Sammy's painful expression haunts me. How could have I just stood by and let him go without telling him how proud I was of him. How much I'll miss him. Now my brother is gone thinking he doesn't have a family to come back to. But maybe it's for the best. The hunting lifestyle has no place in his perfect Stanford dream.

I know that sounds bitter but I cant help it. Why didn't he tell me. That's what eats at me the most. Since that demon hunt a few years ago Sam seemed changed somehow. He became more focused on the hunt. Training without having to tell him, researching all sorts of monsters and lore day and night, finding hunts himself, no more talk of school, no more talk of having a normal life. I thought little brother finally decided to grow up and take the hunt seriously. Dad was very happy with Sam's sudden interest in the hunt. Sure they fought but he was still proud. Maybe that's why it came as such a shock to us both. If he told me he was going to school few years back I would have excepted it. But after not so much as a peep out of him about a normal life he goes and springs this on us.

The motel door opens and brings me out of my thoughts, for which I am grateful. My thoughts were turning to depressing as it always does when I'm thinking about Sam. Dad walks in and with one look at his face I can tell that his leaving.

"Jim called. Found a hunt up north. Better head out now if I want to get there before it kills again. "

"want some company" I know he doesn't but I still ask. "No. it's a poltergeist. I can take care of it." Dad starts to pack his bag then. "call you after the hunt." I know he wont but like he never does but I don't point it out.

"k. I'm heading to south Dakota in the morning. See if I can pick up any hunt on the way."

He's already packed and by the door. "Be careful out there son." "you too" and then he's gone. Only the sound of the door clicking shut can be heard. Times like these I feel Sam's absence so much more profound. I can't take the silence anymore so I turn up the tv and get out the whiskey.

Seems like it will be another night of jhonny walker and me.

 _ **I'm not really happy with this chapter, but bear with the inner monolog for now. The realy story will begin in the next chapter. Your reviews are what inspire me. Enjoy.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sam POV ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is my birthday. I turned nineteen today. It's been more than a year since I've seen or heard of my family. I try not to think about them much. Cause if I do I won't be able to carry on. I miss them so much. I miss my brother so much it's hard to get up to face another day by myself. Even if all I'm doing is for them, I can't allow myself to think about how easier life is for them without me. How much safer. I never brought them anything but pain and danger.

At least now Dean can live his life without the responsibility of a pain in the ass little brother. Dad can hunt without the me slowing them down. They both can be happier without the constant reminder of losing a mother and a wife hanging around like a curse. Most importantly, they're both safe from the same fate. As much as it kills me to think that my only family is better off without me , it's a truth I can't deny.

A car driving into the motel's parking lot brings me out of my thoughts.

I just finished up a hunting a black dog. It got a hit in before I managed to put it down. There's a three inch gash down my shoulder which is still bleeding. Stitching up your own wounds are a total bitch. Times like these are when I can't help my thoughts from turning to my big brother. Dean would have been pissed that I got hurt, but still he would have taken care of me. Let me get first shower, have control of the remote even as he grumbled about my choice. Little things that seemed so inconsequential then are the things I miss most now.

I long for my brother calling me bitch and ruffling my hair. Him calling me Sammy. Though I put up a fight for that I never minded Dean calling me that childish nickname. It was just the way he said it. With so much protectiveness, annoyance, love.

Now that I've let my thoughts run away with me I start thinking about everything that's happened since I left.

I've been preparing for some time for that day to come. So I had some money saved up. After I left the motel we were staying at, I got on a greyhound bus and got as far away as I could. I've been hunting since then. Even got myself bit of a reputation in the hunting community.

Started with small hunts at first. Ghosts, poltergeist, cursed items stuff like that. Mostly I have been educating myself with everything including the yellow eyed demon. I've become a bit of expert in that area. I've always been better at research. Being able to speak fluent Latin helps. Now other hunters sometimes contact me for information though I don't meet with them directly.

To afraid to run into someone who knows dad or Dean.

I always hunt solo now. Even the more dangerous hunts. My methods are different from dads. Now that I don't have to follow his orders I hunt my own way. Do more research and make more thorough plans. Dad was always more of the go in guns blazing type. And Dean would follow him in blindfolded. Not that it didn't work for them. They're the best hunters I know. Just never very patient enough to get all the facts.

But since I don't have any kind of backup, I need to be more conscious. No one will coming running to save me anymore. Hell no one will ever know I'm missing or even dead. There are downside to hunting solo. But any one I let close to me will be in danger. So it's one man army for me.

One of the best skills I learned is to make weapons to kill supernatural beings. Looks like all the hard work in school finally paid off. With the help of a bit of chemistry and physics I now make the best combinations of weapons.

Knifes and swords forged with dead man's blood or lambs blood, salt bombs, iron bullets with silver coating that works just as good, bullets with devil's trap carved into it that traps the demon in it's host and many more. I sold some of them to other hunters and got good money . it felt good. Earning money instead of stealing or running scams. Felt like I was doing something meaningful.

Once word started to get around I've always had a steady number of customers. It gets me enough cash to comfortably get by. I haven't need to hustle anyone in a while. I bought myself a car the first thing. It's a 60' Chevrolet camaro. It's not the impala but I think Dean would have been proud. Got a nice weapons catch installed. It's got a good number of ammo in it too.

When I suggested my ideas to dad he would always scoff at me. Told me to get my head out of the clouds.

I wonder if he saw me now, would he be proud ? would he still think I'm the same stupid son who couldn't follow orders? or will he see me for the men I have become outside of his shadow. What would Dean think ?

All these questions are pointless. They will never get to see who I've become now. I'll always be the Winchester that betrayed his family to go to school. I can't tell them the truth. Maybe when all this is over and the yellow eyed demon is dead I can go back. But not before then. Though I have no fantasy of surviving the fight a man can dream. Yeah maybe someday.

I get out the beer and bottle of cheap alcohol that I bought just for this occasion. I don't normally drink. Won't help anyone if I get myself killed cause I'm too drunk to defend myself. But today I just need a break.

A break from always being on my guard, a break from missing my brother a break from the thoughts of that same brother. With hope for a night of oblivion I take a large gulp straight from the bottle and chase it down with some beer. The burn in my throat feels unfamiliar. But the burn in my eyes and heart are very familiar

Wish you were here to wish me in person Dean. Probably doesn't even remember that it's my birthday. "Well, Happy birthday to me." Says Sam to an empty room.

At the same time in another state Dean is sitting at a bar with a drink in his hand and wishpers out loud to no one in particular, "Happy birthday Sammy. Miss you bitch."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SAM POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's after 11 o'clock in the night. I'm hiding behind a dumpster in the shady parts of Oklahoma City. The smell is really bad. Worse is the questionable gunk on the nearby wall and under my feet. I need to burn these clothes by just standing in this garbage, cause I'll never get the smell out anyway.

Why you ask that I'm standing here like a lamp post in the middle of the night, then the answer would be cause I'm hunting a werewolf. It's already killed nine people here. Most of them hookers and some their johns. One though was a runway teenager. So the police luckily aren't bothering themselves or more importantly me.

It's the last full moon tonight. I've been patrolling parts of these area for three days. If I don't get the son of a bitch tonight it'll get away till the next full moon. Such a fuck up.

Some one walks into the deserted street in front of me. I stand at attention with my gun filled with silver bullets. There's a silver knife tucked in my jacket that I made myself.

The guy is middle aged and walking with a definite drunk stagger. Not our wolf then.

As soon as I ease up another guy comes in and leaps on the drunk too fast for me to do anything. Just my luck. I get out of my hiding position to stop the wolf.

I pull of the other guy of the drunk. He turns on me and that's when I notice the lack of any fangs or claws. Though seeing the gun in my hand and the furious look in my face he backs up from me and I let him go.

"Hey man. I don't want no trouble. "

" Yeah. So you go 'round jumping people often then. Cause that means no trouble"

"He slept with MY MOTHER" by the end he got shouting. And with good reason I guess. The guy in question was slumped by the wall looking like he had no care for the world.

"well he's too drunk to care if you beat him up now. Why not catch him at a sober time, so that he can actually remember not to go round your ma"

The guy looks like he's considering it. Another good look at my gun and he's decided to give up. As he's leaving I call out to him "Hey, mind taking him with you. Guys too drunk to get home." He gives me a look that clearly states have-you-lost-your-mind. But hey can't have the guy wandering about with a werewolf on the lose.

"come on man. You won't be able to beat him up if gets lost or killed now will you. Do your future father a favor and get lost with him"

Guy probably thinks I'm crazy or on something. As it is he thankfully decides not to engage the gun toting crazy person and drags the drunk away with him. With a sigh I turn to watch them leave.

I was so sure the wolf would be here tonight. Times likes these I miss Dean most. just having him by me would have made the time pass easier.

It's almost past the time of the wolf's feeding. The full moon won't stay for long now. I go back on guard.

My mind drifts with nothing to do. God I'm tired. Feels like I haven't slept a full night's sleep in so long. Not since I left Dean. One of the downside of being alone, No one to watch your back. Even had to sleep with one eye open. No big brother to keep me safe. No big brother to lift the boredom from endless hours spent in motels and stake outs.

Just me now. It's gonna be just me till I die probably.

I scrub a hand down my face to try and wash out the constant tiredness from my eyes. Like I can scrub away the morbid thoughts from my mind. Safe to say it never works.

Screw this, I'm too tired for this shit. I'll just go home for today. The streets are empty anyway. No one will get killed today.

As I'm turning around to go someone rushes on to my back. I land on the ground with a loud thump. Turning around I see a set of fangs and a hairy face.

"fuck" I curse my luck out loud.

When I landed the gun scattered away. I cant see it from where I am.

Fuck it. I didn't come this far to be killed by a mindless hairy beast. I wont go down until I finish the threat on my family. I can't. thinking this I reach for my silver blade tucked away in my jacket. But before I can do anything the wolf digs it's claws in my shoulder.

A scream rips out of me as the pain registers.

I get a hand round the fugly's neck to stop it from taking a bite out of me. My other arm is pinned under it. I'm truly fucked this time. No weapon and pinned under hundreds of pound of creature which will either turn me or kill me.

Only Winchester will keeps me fighting. I keep trying to free my hand to get to my knife. But all this struggle only makes my wound bleed faster. The blood loss is weakening me bit by bit. Don't know how long I'll be able to hold on.

Sensing my strength give it racks it's claws down my chest. I cant hold in my scream try as I might.

My vision starts to go dark around the edges. At that moment the werewolf is pulled off me. The claws in me rip off flesh as it goes reaping another scream.

That's the last bit of my strength. I distantly hear a gun being fired several times. Finally there's peace and quiet. Maybe now I can rest.

A shadow figure comes into view. I cant make out the face.

As the person comes closer a pair of familiar vibrant green eyes becomes clear.

With a new found sense of safety I close my eyes and give in to the tiredness weighing me under.

The last thing I hear is an socked voice saying,''Sammy.''


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DEAN POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's going on almost two years post Stanford. Seems like my life's divided in two setting. Pre Stanford and post Stanford. Life with Sammy in it felt like real living, without him it's only surviving. Even the hunts feel routine now, something to only count the passing days by.

I'm at Oklahoma City working on a werewolf now. Dad's god knows where doing his own thing. Talked to him couple days ago. Wonder what Sammy doing? Maybe I should call him just to see if he's ok. But the little bitch hasn't called either and I'm the one who's risking his life every day. Not that he cares.

No…No…No. I shut down that line of thought. Not going down that road. It will only bring back painful memories and remind me of my own shortcomings.

New rule – no thinking about little brothers during hunts.

"focus Dean, focus." I say to myself, being bitter about it will help no one. Truth is I'm darn proud of my litter brother. Even with our lifestyle he's made it into Stanford. The fucker was always too smart for his own good. Dad just couldn't see it. If I get a choice I would never chose this life for my baby brother. he's too pure and good to be living in the dark.

I just wish we hadn't parted the way we had. I wish I could have told him how proud I was of him. I should have told him. Now because of dad's big mouth and my silence my little brother thinks he doesn't have a family to come back to.

Too little, too late.

I just hope your happy little brother. happy and safe in your nerdy little campus.

A loud scream filled with pain brings me out of my thoughts of Sammy sitting in a library hunched over some book. I run toward the noise. As I get closer I hear growling. Damn, I was hoping to get the sucker before it got a new vic.

I follow the noise to an ally. The werewolf is on it's next victim. All I can see that its some guy, but he's fighting. I raise my gun but I can't shoot with a civilian so close, so I grab the furry fucker from behind and yank him off.

It was too busy with it's new plaything to notice me. Good. But as I pull the beast away I hear another scream. The wolf had its claw in him that probably ripped some flesh.

But I cant stop to check on the guy. Fugly's on me in the next second. I had my gun ready, so I fire off several rounds right into it's heart.

The silver bullets does it's trick. The fangs and claws retreat to show a guy in his mid thirties. He slumps over me with dead weight. I shove him of me and get up. There's some shuffling noise from behind me that reminds me of the vic.

I can see it's a guy, tall and built but still on the lanky side. Probably few years younger than me. As I get closer to get a better look the familiar face sends a jolt of shock through my body.

Hazel eyes that can see through my soul locks on mine and the relief I see there nearly knocks me off my feet.

"Sammy" the name comes out in a whisper but he still heard.

With that sam closes his eyes and passes out. For a second its like my heart stops beating. The shock of seeing him here stops me cold. 'what's he doing here ? why isn't he at college ?' these questions keep circling around my head.

A car passing by wakes me up from my reverie and I go on hunter mode. I can find my answers latter, but first I have to make sure that Sammy's alright.

I take stock of the situation. he's breathing is shallow but steady, his pulse is a little fast but that's per of the course after the adrenaline rush. There are gashes over his shoulder from where the werewolf grabbed him, that are bleeding sluggishly. Some of them will need stitches, but first I gotta get him out of here.

I pick up his limp body and nearly stumble under his weight. "whoa ! little brother's not so little any more."

Sam was already my height when he left but now he's a good head taller. He's put on a good deal of muscle too, not just skin and bones anymore. His hair is longer too, instead of just up to his neck now it's shoulder length which is pulled back with a rubber band.

'Dad would've been pissed about that' just as the thought comes I get pissed at myself for thinking about what dad would think when his pigheadedness got us in this mess in the first place. I won't let him keep me from Sammy any longer. That's not all true. I am as much to blame.

"Hang on little brother we'll fix you up in a jiffy than we can fix _**us**_ , and whatever brought you here you won't be alone anymore. _**That's a promise**_."

I carry Sam to the car, 'good thing I parked close' I already have a room in the motel so I drive us there. Good thing it's late. Don't want to alert the neighborhood by carrying a bloody passed out body out the car.

In the motel room I lay him down the bed farthest from the door. A lifetime of habit has me getting a double room every time even though I don't need it anymore. Turned out pretty convenient today.

I get the first aid box and get to work. The shirts already ruined so I cut it of him. As I clean and stitch the wound I notice the whole myriad of scars that in no way should be on my brothers body if he was spending time reading in a library as I pictured him.

Done with patching Sam up my mind frees to wonder. 'How did Sammy get all those scars ? It sure wasn't from going to college. What was Sammy doing all this time if he wasn't at college ? hunting? If he wanted to hunt then why leave at all. Was all that fighting for all those years about leaving the hunt or leaving his family ? leaving me.'

There's only one person who can answer these questions and he's laying unconscious two feet from me. So, I set myself up for a long night by his bed.

All I can picture is Sam's face before he left. The pain on his face when dad said those words. Basically blamed mom's death on him., for that I will never forgive him. But through all this I was so focused with my own fear, my own pain I never thought about my baby brother. The look on his face as he looked at me, it's like he was begging me with his eyes to understand, to help him but I didn't.

"This time I won't stand by quietly and let you sleep through my fingers Sammy. You will talk little brother . I won't let you go."


End file.
